The Texture Of Things

Maybe Someday, but Maybe Not **Updated, Sheesh

November 13th, 2006

Some of these I’d really like to do, but I’m okay with never having eaten sushi or committed a crime.

I’ve never:

*eaten sushi
*watched professional basketball (in spite of living through two eras of Detroit Piston greatness)
*ridden a motorcycle
*driven a stick shift
*traveled to a foreign country (**Edited to address what HG thought was anti-Canada statement.)
*liked almonds, mushrooms, or eggplant
*owned a game system (other than my computer, which I don’t use for gaming)
*liked my hair
*been honest-to-goodness homeless (I did live in a pop-up camper one fall)
*really gotten the appeal to John Grisham novels
*held down a fulltime paying job
*stuck a needle into myself
*used AOL
*used a food processor
*found a pair of really cheap shoes that I deeply loved (though I’ve owned many cheap shoes)
*owned a brand-new, not refurbished or rebuilt computer
*had to, with my own hands, kill an animal (paying for euthanasia by a veterinarian not counted)
*owned or used inline skates, ice skates, or downhill skis
*figured out how the hands-free headset for my cell phone is supposed to fit my miniscule ears
*committed a crime or been arrested
*lived in any state other than Michigan
*fired a gun
*operated a power saw
*learned how to french-braid
*smoked cigarettes
*voted for a Presidential candidate from one of America’s two major parties
*skipped an opportunity to vote in state and federal elections, since becoming of age
*been audited, for tax purposes
*played golf
*taken a bath in my bathtub with the jet things
*had any hair removed by waxing
*driven an SUV
*driven a vehicle not made by Ford or GM
*lived anywhere with an honest-to-goodness guest room (meaning: one without a combined purpose, like “office/guest room”)
*had my entire house clean at the same time
*voluntarily performed on stage
*understood what all the fuss is about

** I meant no offense with my original statement that I didn’t think Casino Windsor counted as visiting Canada. I have been to Casino Windsor one time, but I’ve only been inside the casino – NOT in bountiful, beautiful Canada proper. I was a passenger in a car that drove directly to the casino parking garage, whereupon I exited the vehicle and proceeded in to gamble. This was before 9/11, so I didn’t even have to show paperwork on either side of the tunnel. I can’t think that this casino experience counts as visiting Canada. I mean, everyone there was rude, so it felt just like being in Michigan. I thought they were all like my companions and me – suburbanites who (at the time) hated Detroit so much that we’d cross through it – that we’d pass Detroit casinos – to blow our money.

Egad, fine, I can take this one off the list. I have been to a foreign country, but I’ve never been overseas.

Meme of Fours

November 11th, 2006

Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Car Wash Extraordinaire (Okay, I dried cars with towels as they came off the line.)
2. Movie Concession Queen (No one kept that entire popcorn counter crankin’ like me!)
3. English Tutor (Too, too many years of this before and sometimes during teaching.)
4. Industrial-strength embroidery sewing machine operator (Family business. There is never any escaping it, not even now that I’m a grown up. I still help out at holiday time.)

Four movies I would watch over and over
1. The Blues Brothers
2. Better Off Dead
3. Much of the Monty Python catalog (Holy Grail, Life of Brian, Meaning of Life – in that order)
4. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

Four places I have lived in my life
1. An island off of the Upper Penninsula of Michigan, where I was born
2. A different apartment every year I was at “Cornfield” State University (in West Michigan) for my four-year degree
3. A Southeast Michigan city, when I first got married, known only for its two intersecting highways that lead to all the better cities
4. A Southeast Michigan suburb, where I live now, about ten miles west of the Southeast Michigan suburb I grew up in

Four TV shows I love to watch:
1. Good Eats (!!!)
2. Law & Order, regular or SVU
3. South Park
4. Daily Show/Colbert Report

Four places I have been on vacation:
1. Disney X, in Florida (I was a child. I got lost for most of the day. It sucked.)
2. Yellowstone National Park (It was our honeymoon. It was splendid and I recommend it.)
3. Algoma, Wisconsin (We go to a friend’s family cabin – very good times every time we go.)
4. Flagstaff, Arizona, plus the Grand Canyon (We visited an old college friend of mine there years ago, and I’d go back with the tot in a heartbeat.)

Websites I visit daily
1. Ask Moxie
2. Parenthacks
3. eBay
Bonus: Paperbackswap

Four of my favorite foods
1. Cookies, chocolate or otherwise
2. Kellogg’s Frosted Mini-Wheats, plain (don’t waste my time with the flavors. really.)
3. Cheese, alone or with macaroni
4. Salty, store-bought tortilla chips
Bonus: Coffee
Bonus: Diet Pepsi

Four places I would rather be right now
1. On the sofa with a fleece blanket and a cat (Mittinz, perferrably)
2. At the mall, shopping for Christmas gifts and a dress/outfit for the tot to wear in her holiday pictures
(I know, I’m not even a shopper, really, so what’s up with this?)
3. Someplace warmer than Michigan right now, with water
4. Someplace colder than Michigan right now, with snow
(I am tired of brown mud and rain. If winter is coming, on with it!)

Four friends I am tagging:
Meh. If you want to be tagged, consider yourself so tagged.

The Winter Holiday is ON!

November 11th, 2006

Today’s the day, the big big day.

The Winter Holiday Of Your Choice Blog Extravaganza giftee names have begun to be assigned. I have received mine, and I can hardly wait. HARDLY.

I will do my best to restrain myself, though. And I will try to post more. The poor sap who gets my name will be in for a harder time, I think, because this blog is so new. Others have at least a year under their belts and in their archives. It is only fair that I make myself a little more visible here, in order to facilitate the Gift Giving Experience.

Some announcements:
Historically, I’ve never participated in those email-forward memes that my cousins always send me, but I will add some here between now and the end of the year. I will categorize all memes during this time under WHOYCBE. I hope it helps.

I will update my Questionnaire, because some new things have occurred to me. I’ll indicate an update with a new entry to draw attention to it.

Meanwhile, Yay! Winter is Coming!

Winter Holiday of Your Choice Blog Extravaganza Gift Exchange Questionnaire Answers

October 26th, 2006

Here are my answers to the WHOYCBE Questionnaire. The Extravaganza itself is graciously being hosted by the lovely Andrea.

I may choose to further amend this to include more answers, as I look at other entries and see how kewl** everyone and their responses are.

Fill in the blanks:

If I could, I’d invent a ____________________, and damn it, the world needs
one because,_____________________________________.

A Time-Freezer Machine that would freeze the world around me, but not me, like Piper could do on the old WB show Charmed. With it, I could pause time and do something, like go to the bathroom alone, clean up because someone’s coming over and the house is a mess but the tot insists on following me around destroying every path of clean I make, read a book, write a real honest-to-goodness letter, or grab a nap. I could drink a cup of coffee or listen to a cd. I could work on my class prep (my students would love me if I showed up prepared for once) or write entries for the blog, but the first thing I would do would be to carve my Halloween pumpkins, because it’s a task better left to when the tot is asleep or elsewhere. In short, every woman needs one.

I sometimes buy _____________________, because it is/they are more like the
me I want to be than the me that I am.

Fashionable clothes, particularly ones that sacrifice comfort for fashion. Also, salads.

If you came over to my house to play and touched my ________________ I’d be
a little bit mad at you forever.

I can’t really think of an example. I pretty much would get over anything quickly or eventually, even riffling through my underwear drawer. That said, if you picked up my digital camera, I would worry until you put it down. I’ve got a lot of important, not-yet-downloaded pictures on there.

The colour/s _______________ makes me want to shave my eyeballs with a
cheese grater.

Peach, pale yellow (other yellows are okay), royal blue (other blues are okay)

The colour/s _________________ is/are so beautiful that when I see them, a
beam of light comes down and I hear a choir sing.

Wine, rich charcoal grey, mid to dark greens, periwinkle, slate blue, pumpkin

_______________________ makes me gag, feel it in my mouth for a minute, and
then swallow it back down rather than spit it out (or else I just don’t like
it, but I’m too nice to say it.)

Hip-hop or country music, dog slobber, sit-coms where the male characters are just stooges set up for laughs.

I might get sick or die if I touch or ingest _______________, or look at

Spiders and bugs, mushrooms or tofu, though I am allergic to none of these things.

_______________________ gives me the willies and I might need to consider a
frontal lobotomy if I even think about it further.

Teddy bears, clowns, geese, or talking politics out loud, with live people.

I love the feel of _______________ so much I want to hump it like a puppy on
a sofa pillow.

Chenille, flannel, you know – all the things cat hair sticks to.

No one should have to watch me eat ___________________, because then I might
consider being polite enough to share, and I don’t want to share it.

High-end (milk) chocolate, chocolate desserts, or cheesecake

I’m a grown-up now, so I don’t have to eat ________________________ any
more, and you can’t make me.

Any kind of seafood. ANY kind. Also, black olives. And hazelnut-flavored anything or dark chocolate.

If I could invent a way to permanently coat my nostril hairs with this
scent, I’d be my own biggest customer:

Spices – like apple-cinnamon, vanilla spice, etc. I’m not a floral scent kind of person.

Three things I like that anyone might like:

Snowmen, cats, books, horses.

Three things I like that nobody else in the world likes:

Professional football – Lions, Packers, Bears (at least no one I know likes it with me, except my husband), oatmeal (cooked, not instant), playing solitaire with real cards

I have TOO MANY/TOO MUCH OF __________________________, and not enough

Too many duffel/tote bags,
Not enough scrapbooking supplies, notepaper, storage boxes

Okay, we know the best things in life aren’t things, but these are the best
things in life if there are going to be best things:

Coffee in a chunky coffee mug (preferably with angled sides), a great pair of shoes, a book that has me thinking about it long after I’ve put it down.

When people have kind, sweet and nice things about me, they’re usually
talking about ________________________. When they say I’m
______________________, they’re usually right too.

What my mother told them about me. Spoiled and bullheaded.

It’s true, I’m a _______________________________________. I’m learning to be
proud of it.

Coupon shopper. There is nothing like a big coupon the same week the item goes on sale.

If I could have any talent in the world, I’d choose ________________ and use
it to _________________________.

Cooking. I’d feed myself, my family, my neighbors, anyone who would take food from me. I think the act of sharing food with people in times of trouble is one of the better qualities of our culture, except it’s mostly lost now. Neighbors don’t share recipes because they don’t know each other, new moms and dads stress out over fending for themselves, families in crisis order take-out. If we shared food with each other more often, the world would be a better place. Meanwhile, I can’t cook anything without burning it or needing my husband to walk me through it step by step. It’s a drag.

You are given a day and a no-limit credit card to spend in one of these
places, childfree. Choose one, or write your own:

A gourmet food store, because you are what you eat. It’s all about feeding
yourself and your soul. (Although a meal with my husband or friends at a nice restaurant, complete with dessert, would do just fine – it doesn’t need to be gourmet.)

And here’s the last chance to make sure that you’re not going to get a
“Jelly of the Month” club membership when you’re expecting your bonus for a
swimming pool:
It is important to me that the items chosen for me:

are not poisonous to cats or toddlers. I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, so have some fun picking things out because that is the most important part of this whole shindig-thang. C’mon! It’ll be fun!

If I could suggest that you read only one post from my archives, this would
be it:

There aren’t that many entries yet, so I can’t really pick a “Best In Blog.” Maybe “When Words Fail” or “Puff Balls” or “Bullet List”?

If I were to name the Holiday of my choice for this exchange, it would be:

Winter Awesome Gift-Giving Because We Are Kewl* or WAGG B WAK
or Christmas. Whatever. I was raised with Christmas, but for me, much of the holiday is tied to cultural and family traditions of community, food, loving life and the people in it, and gift-exchange. A name is just a label we use for reference.

**Kewl = so cool that “cool” isn’t cool enough to fully express the coolness.

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