The Texture Of Things

Dear MTV(2)

July 7th, 2007

Listen. I know you’re a bunch of over-caffeinated, self-indulged punks over there in programming and show development, so I’ll keep this as straight-forward as I think your miniature attention spans can handle:

I am old.
Stop inching Headbangers Ball later and later.
I am old.
I want to watch it.
I have some disposable income.
If your advertisers were worth my while and/or would get a clue, I could support them with my disposable income.
But I am old.
I can’t stay up until midnight waiting for a show to start.
Eleven is doable, but ten was better.
No, I don’t have Tivo.
I am old, remember?
Please put it back.
Or make a new channel to put it on.
You know, one that shows actual videos 24/7.
Like in the good ol’ days.
Do you remember those? You don’t? Oh, right, you’re twelve.
Should you be working so many hours as a minor?
Does your mom know you’re working for MTV?
Just put my show back on at ten.


P.S. And stop playing all that European garbage. Yes, that includes that one Greek band with that annoying uber-polished, magazine-cover singer. You know the one.


  1. KLee says

    I don’t care for Headbanger’s Ball, but I hear you about MTV (and all the supposed “video” channels) not playing freaking videos anymore. Back in the day, like when dinosaurs were young, MTV and VH1 actually *played* videos. I’m older than you, remember, so I think I may have photographic evidence of the dinosaurs.

    July 8th, 2007 | #

  2. admin says

    I don’t think you’re older than me, KLee, but even if you were, you can’t possibly have photographic evidence of dinosaurs. Cameras hadn’t been invented yet.

    I actually remember the first year of MTV. I was a kid and we had just gotten cable. There were no parental controls back then, but even if there had been, it wouldn’t have mattered. No one had any idea the influence MTV would grow to have.

    Headbangers Ball is kind of a dessert treat around here. It’s on after the tot is in bed and we watch it every week (for as long as I can stay awake – egad, I’m old), so it’s like couple time for HG and me. Plus, it’s almost always good for a laugh because of the crap they play. We spend our time identifying and labeling all of the “cheese.” Mmmmm, cheeeeese…

    July 8th, 2007 | #

  3. admin says

    Mmmmmm, Merciful Cheese….

    (That one’s for you, Husband Guy.)

    July 8th, 2007 | #

  4. Summer says

    Funny, of all the channels I gave up when we cancelled our cable, I haven’t really missed MTV at all. (Except, I’m shamed to admit, those delightfully brain-numbing marathons of shows like “Real World/Road Rules Challenge.” I loved that when the boy was in his nurse all day period.) Bravo and TLC, now that’s a different story. But now that we’ve got a HD TV, we discovered all these high def and digital channels that are broadcast over the airwaves… and one of them is THE TUBE. It’s actually a music channel that plays videos, nothing but videos, with a single commercial for hair regrowth systems or debt relief every 20 minutes or so. It’s very cool that my son now recognizes the Killers and the Raconteurs and the Clash. Of course, they do play far too much of the Bee Gees, but that’s a small price to pay for no dating shows.

    July 9th, 2007 | #

  5. admin says

    Hi Summer,
    I agree with you on the MTV thing. I could completely give up regular MTV and MTV2, with the exception of that 2-hour block. If we had another way to get music videos (the non-junk kind, or really anything in our taste ranges), I wouldn’t need the MTVs at all. On our digital cable, there’s another music channel called Fuse, but it is succumbing to the non-video programming trend, sadly.

    Bee Gees = “small price to pay”? I suppose so, because even if you don’t like their stuff as an adult, some kids think it’s fun for an impromptu dance party. (Confession: Now that I’m an adult, I do kind of enjoy the occasional Bee Gees tune. I’m not really sure why.)

    July 9th, 2007 | #

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