The Texture Of Things

He’s Smirking, He’s Totally Smirking

January 16th, 2007

When I bolted outside with my camera, my chainsaw man used his best bedside manner to warn me that the deer statue (visible in the background) might possibly be damaged a little in the attempt to remove the tree. Maybe. He hoped not.

No big deal, I said. We hate that thing.

Chainsaw Man offered try to move it. I declined. It took 5 grown men to get the thing there. There’s no way it’s scooching over for something as trivial as a tree.

He looked a little relieved (pressure’s off!) and we joked about how I could tell the family that the deer was damaged in the tree’s fall and boy, what a shame. Ha ha.

I wouldn’t actually do that, but sometimes fantasy is fun.

After all was said and done (pictures to come, possibly), the goddamned deer was still standing, unscathed.

I swear that deer planned the whole thing just to get my hopes up and dash them like so many icicles on the ground.

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