The Texture Of Things

Dos: One or the Other

April 12th, 2008

Click here to find out what “Dos:” means.

In response to the PSA, Summer wrote me a comment I wanted to respond to, but I found my response growing and growing. I decided to put it here instead of in the comments because it might answer some questions down the way.

Summer wrote:

Actually, I quite like reading about other people’s pregnancies, as long as the pregnant person writing is happy about being pregnant. That doesn’t mean you can’t bitch about symptoms — please, feel free to moan about swollen ankles or getting up a million times at night to pee, because I do like to be reminded of the uncomfortable, unattractive parts of pregnancy. As long as you don’t complain about the gender of your unborn child, or otherwise act as if a second child is a burden rather than a blessing, I’ll be happy to read your Dos entries.

I fully intend to bitch about being pregnant because being pregnant? not that gr8, akshully. End result = great, awesome, wanted; ends to the means? not so much.

For the record, I won’t make it any secret that I’m rooting for a girl*, but you will not find me bemoaning my “bad luck” if it turns out to be a boy. (Also, we intend to find out as soon as we can.) My reasons for wanting a girl are, quite honestly, fairly empty.

1. I already have all the girl stuff, and although I do enjoy shopping for kids’ stuff, I just can’t get excited about all the stuff in my basement that I couldn’t use if the baby is a boy. That said, I know I’d be in 7th heaven about the tax deduction after I donate the unneeded stuffs to charity. So really, it’s a toss up. (Mmmmm, tax deductions…..)

2. Though I know in my head that no two kids are the same to parent, my emotions are not as easily convinced. I feel like I’ve already got a start up the learning curve with a girl. How realistic that is, I can’t tell. When I anticipate having a girl, I feel a sense of comfort, but I feel a sense of “Oh No! I Don’t Know How To Be A Mother To A Boy!” when I anticipate a boy. But seriously? I didn’t know how to be a mother to a girl either until I had one. So that argument doesn’t really hold water either.

I guess in the end, I just want a healthy baby. A baby that’s close to or completely full term. A baby that doesn’t go to the NICU instead of rooming in with me. And when it comes to sex and gender, I’ll take one or the other and love what I get.

*Why do I root at all? I think I root for one over the other because (again, I know this is shallow) even when my team isn’t in the Superbowl, I still pick a team to cheer for. Even if that choice is based on uniform colors.


  1. coffeypot says

    You can’t loose either way. Both sexes have unique tendencies that make them special. Take my grandkids for example. J-man is all boy and brave when it comes to pain, but don’t ask him to ride a roller coaster. Bug, on the other hand is a drama queen and a girly girl. But she told me she let the boys do boy stuff because she wanted them to think she was a girly girl. God, I love them both. They are so funny. That’s a requirement in the coffeypot and marni household.

    April 13th, 2008 | #

  2. admin says

    Funny is a requirement here, as well, and so far the tot has lived up to the expectation. She is a riot. (Except when she’s being a drama queen, but that’s to be expected of a small girl, I suppose.)

    April 13th, 2008 | #

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