The Texture Of Things

Oh. Oh, that’s one more for the list.

August 24th, 2008

I have an unwritten list of the things that give me heartburn. Before I got pregnant with the tot, I never knew the privilege of being somewhere, doing something, and being suddenly overcome with a reflux burp that carried with it all the charm of door-to-door magazine solicitor. And, lucky me, that was a souvenir I got to keep after her birth, although reduced in its ferocity.

*:burp:*

excuse me.

As I was saying, heartburn. Oh god, it’s worse this time. While I don’t remember all of my trigger foods from the time of the tot, I know that the foods that stayed on as major offenders after her birth included:
coffee
oatmeal (worse if paired with coffee)
bananas
toast

Yes, bananas and toast.

Pardon me for phrasing it this way, but who the fuck gets heartburn from toast? It’s ridiculous.

Now, of course, the list is everything again, or almost everything. I think there must be a few things that don’t stoke the fires, but I’ll tell you that when I decided to treat myself this afternoon to something I haven’t had in years, I most certainly did NOT expect to be suffering some six hours later.

The culprit?

A Grape Faygo soda. Diet, of course. (Thanks, Diabeetus!)

On a “normal” day in the pregnancy-hood, I get by with the help of a Z@nt@c 150 in the morning and about 6-8 Extra Strength Tums across the course of the day. Today? I needed another 150 in the evening and I’ve eaten 10 ES Tums in 5 hours.

Screw you, Faygo. I never liked Grape anyway and the diet version sucked. (I’m more of a Red Pop or Rock & Rye girl, to be honest.)

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