The Texture Of Things

A Morning Recipe

January 26th, 2009

You’ll need:
One cat with needs
One bowl of cereal with no intention of sharing

Combine one cat with standard desire to consume cereal bowl milk. Add to cat an insatiable hunger for all things granola, graham, cookie, and cracker.

In a small bowl, pour Golden Grahams and milk. Add spoon. Sit down and begin to enjoy.

In cereal bowl, find cat’s tail, nose, or whiskers. (Paw would also work.)

Fight off cat for thirty seconds.

After fighting, stand up and walk to center of room or to any part of room with open floor space and at least three feet between furniture tall enough for cat to access bowl from. (Kitchen may be substituted, but is not recommended.)

Finish cereal. Discover cats have no kibble and realize that was probably the problem.

Serves one. Discard leftovers.

1 Comment »

  1. KLee says

    That sounds amazingly like my cat, only her fetish is yogurt. Anything yogurt-related, and she’s climbing you like a freaking rose trellis. She likes the cereal-and-milk combo but only if the cereal is malty-flavored.

    And, for some bizarre reason, she loves white rice. Weirdo.

    January 26th, 2009 | #

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