The Texture Of Things

I Have Made a Choice. Maybe.

December 3rd, 2006

What I have learned while trying to choose a dress for the tot’s Christmas pictures is that I cannot make a choice about probably anything. (I usually forget this about myself and have to relearn it, so really, this should not be so much like an epiphany.) I’ve always been so insecure that what I want becomes clouded and tangled up with what I think other people want and with what they actually indicate that they want. It’s not that I don’t want certain things; I’ve just been thoroughly trained to bury my own discomfort and desires because they are less important than others’. I’m not saying it’s right, I’m just saying it’s true.

Case in point:
When HG and I got married, our first project together was to redecorate the bathroom in the house he had just bought. Some time later (years?) we were picking out new vinyl flooring for the kitchen, and HG wanted the same flooring that we had had put in the bathroom. I said no. I didn’t really like that floor, so while it was okay in the bathroom because that’s a small area I don’t frequent for long periods of time, the kitchen was the center of the house and I didn’t want to look at that floor pattern that much.

HG was flabbergasted. He had no idea I didn’t care for the floor. Now, it wasn’t that I hated it, I just didn’t want it in the kitchen, a major focal point in the house. But from that day, he referred to the bathroom flooring as the floor I hated.

I didn’t hate it. I just didn’t want big white grout lines through the kitchen. Sheesh. Whatever. He insisted I have final say on the floor for the kitchen in that house, and I think we still agree it was a gorgeous floor. (I’d love to have it in this house now, as a matter of fact.)

So the point of this post is that I’ve narrowed down my choices to two dresses.

In my first dress post, I was looking at dresses from the Children’s Place, but they are no longer in the running. I took the red sweater/skirt combo back (way too big) and the black dress was the tot’s Thanksgiving outfit. (I was so wrapped up in the dress hunt that I forgot to find/launder an outfit for Turkey Day. She wore the black dress and it was cute, but it didn’t do it for me for pictures. Also, my mother won’t abide the tot wearing the same outfit on two holidays and in her pictures.)

I have since found two party dresses, a blue one from Costco and a burgundy one from Macy’s.

The blue in the skirt is darker and more grey than this, but no matter what I do, it shows up this bright in pictures.


Everything about this dress is lovely.


The pros of the Costco dress are that it cost under $20 and the blue is really pretty. The dark of the dress would work in Christmas portraits, I think, because it’s a dress you’d wear in winter and because the pattern on the skirt is not so obtrusive as to distract attention from the tot’s face. The cons are that it’s really long on the tot, it does not come with a diaper cover, I have no idea what color tights I’d put her in (black? seems odd to me, I think, though decidedly punk rock), and that the dress makes her look like I’m dressing her up as a small adult. Add eyeshadow and hip thrusts and she’d be ready for the pageant circuit.

The cons of the Macy’s dress are the cost, over $20*, and the flowers. I love the flowers, but after HG said that it’s not that Christmasy a dress because of them, I can’t think anything else. The pros are that it fits her better, it’s burgundy (like I originally wanted), my mother doesn’t like it (oh, right, that’s not a fair criterion), it’s really high quality, it comes with ivory underpants and can be worn with ivory tights and black mary janes, and the tot looks like an absolute princess** in it.

So, I’m leaning toward the Macy’s dress. I even got my most trusted girlfriend’s opinion on it this weekend, and in spite of blue being her favorite color, she endorsed the Macy’s dress. It’s the right choice, truly.

*The dress ended up costing $40, after sales tax. We are not so hurting for cash that I can’t spend this much, but I did feel compelled to call HG to ask him to give me permission to spend that much on a dress. His response was, “You mean, you don’t normally spend $40 on an outfit for her? Really?” I love him.

Ultimately I’ve rationalized the purchase entirely. We had plans to get a gadget-type thing for our moms and my two girlfriends for Christmas, but I had stopped him from ordering them on ama-zon. While at the mall getting this beast of a dress, I discovered the gadgets at Brook-stone for $10 less each. So I bought them there, saved $40 on the items plus the shipping; ergo, the trip to the mall paid for itself. Yay me!

**I am not promoting the princess thing that many girls seem to go through, but I know it’s probably imminent in this house.

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