The Texture Of Things

Maybe Someday, but Maybe Not **Updated, Sheesh

November 13th, 2006

Some of these I’d really like to do, but I’m okay with never having eaten sushi or committed a crime.

I’ve never:

*eaten sushi
*watched professional basketball (in spite of living through two eras of Detroit Piston greatness)
*ridden a motorcycle
*driven a stick shift
*traveled to a foreign country (**Edited to address what HG thought was anti-Canada statement.)
*liked almonds, mushrooms, or eggplant
*owned a game system (other than my computer, which I don’t use for gaming)
*liked my hair
*been honest-to-goodness homeless (I did live in a pop-up camper one fall)
*really gotten the appeal to John Grisham novels
*held down a fulltime paying job
*stuck a needle into myself
*used AOL
*used a food processor
*found a pair of really cheap shoes that I deeply loved (though I’ve owned many cheap shoes)
*owned a brand-new, not refurbished or rebuilt computer
*hunted
*had to, with my own hands, kill an animal (paying for euthanasia by a veterinarian not counted)
*owned or used inline skates, ice skates, or downhill skis
*figured out how the hands-free headset for my cell phone is supposed to fit my miniscule ears
*committed a crime or been arrested
*lived in any state other than Michigan
*fired a gun
*operated a power saw
*learned how to french-braid
*smoked cigarettes
*voted for a Presidential candidate from one of America’s two major parties
*skipped an opportunity to vote in state and federal elections, since becoming of age
*been audited, for tax purposes
*played golf
*taken a bath in my bathtub with the jet things
*had any hair removed by waxing
*driven an SUV
*driven a vehicle not made by Ford or GM
*lived anywhere with an honest-to-goodness guest room (meaning: one without a combined purpose, like “office/guest room”)
*had my entire house clean at the same time
*voluntarily performed on stage
*understood what all the fuss is about

** I meant no offense with my original statement that I didn’t think Casino Windsor counted as visiting Canada. I have been to Casino Windsor one time, but I’ve only been inside the casino – NOT in bountiful, beautiful Canada proper. I was a passenger in a car that drove directly to the casino parking garage, whereupon I exited the vehicle and proceeded in to gamble. This was before 9/11, so I didn’t even have to show paperwork on either side of the tunnel. I can’t think that this casino experience counts as visiting Canada. I mean, everyone there was rude, so it felt just like being in Michigan. I thought they were all like my companions and me – suburbanites who (at the time) hated Detroit so much that we’d cross through it – that we’d pass Detroit casinos – to blow our money.

Egad, fine, I can take this one off the list. I have been to a foreign country, but I’ve never been overseas.

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